For couples who decide to move to Beijing, the appeal often has to do with the opportunity to experience another culture, travel, and save money. But when the rose-colored glasses come off and the facts of life outside one’s home country set in, the reality ain’t always pretty. We speak with Psychologist Dr. Wei Chang from the Family Counseling Center at Beijing United Family Hospital about the challenges that couples most often face when they come to China.
What’s the Problem?
Specializing in couples counseling, Dr. Chang has been living in Beijing for eight years and mainly sees expat and mixed-nationality couples. She says that adjustment is a huge issue for expat couples because moving abroad often changes the dynamic in a relationship. “Often, long hours for the working spouse are a big problem because it takes the spouse away from the family,” she says. “It turns into mom and kid without dad. Just about every couple tells me that the amount of travel was never ‘this bad’ before moving here.”
In terms of adjustment, another problem couples encounter is when one spouse must often be overseas while the trailing spouse – defined as the person who follows their partner to another city for a work assignment – does not. “Very often, the working spouse really likes the work here because it’s easier for them to get promoted, they have higher value, and they feel it’s more exciting while the trailing spouse has to deal with things like pollution, traffic, and food safety,” she says.
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